Once you come home with you baby, I often find that there is a settlement period that we need to make allowance for. For instance, and making it more relatable. Whilst in the womb the baby is growing, being housed in warmth and receiving everything it needs via the placenta and umbilical cord. Once born he/she will need to make some adjustments too. He/she needs to eat, drink, stay warm, pee, poo, be nurtured, stay safe and so forth. If your birth was in the hospital, there’s always activity going on, so there’s an adjustment to that environment. It is a 24hour service and babies arrive at different times. They don’t have a clock and work with time either. They work with their own circadian clock, so it means one baby will differ to another so when with other mums, they can cry whilst yours is asleep.
Utilise the services as best as possible in other words, the support to allow you to become fit in dealing with your own newborn. Focus on you and your baby. That doesn’t mean you don’t talk to others. Sometimes it’s enriching to speak to another and know that you are not alone in this. We are in this together.
Then we come home and there could be a few rough nights, so here’s another adjustment.
Prepare yourself for this. Visitors are great but when you have a sleeping baby, the last thing you want is that baby being passed around whilst he/she is asleep. How would it be for you if you were passed around whilst you were in a deep sleep. There are different smells (meaning body odour, smokers, perfumes, food etc). Their hands could be cold, their voices can be harsh, strong. I think you get what I’m laying out, so re-consider your baby being disturbed when he/she is asleep. Let them adjust and settle in their new home because to them it is their new home.
Utilise the family wisely. Many love to help and sometimes can take over. I mean who doesn’t go all gooey when faced with a baby or a puppy. We all do. Yea the support is essential, but you also need to be adjusting with your new born too.
I recall visiting mothers when their babies were 4 weeks old and all the hype of a newborn dissipated and often the mothers had become heavily reliant on this and became lonely.
So, family and friends are important and a healthy way is to have a trickle of them instead of a mass entry and a mass exodus.
Remembering babies aren’t born with a watch that tells time, allow them to adjust too. It’s a two way thing, they adjust to you, and you have to adjust to them too. If they feel nurtured and safe, they settle much differently compared to when they are anxieties or sleep deprived parents.
There are many things that are sold to prop newborn’s. However, consider if they will support your newborn. Attend to their needs then you will have a baby that will respond accordingly. Trying to keep a baby asleep for long hours is unlikely to work. If you attend to your baby in that given moment and I mean wholeheartedly then you’re likely to see the difference. Compared to can’t be bothered or I’m too tired attitude will be responded to accordingly.
Babies will also have growth spurts and the timing of that can’t be pin pointed either. It is when your baby is hungry constantly and requires frequent feeds. Or when the nappy has exploded, the baby will require frequent feeds. So go with it. Tomorrow is another day, and the baby could be content and require less feeds.
The main thing is that the baby feeds, poos, pees, cries, wakes up for feeds is active, alert when an awake, stretches etc. that is a sign of a healthy baby responding to its small structure.
Bathing a baby- there are no hard and fast rules about how often you should bath a baby. However, it can be suggested that bathing them towards the evening can help settle them. It often is recommended to do this before a feed, in case they vomit up that delicious feed they’ve just received. However, there are no hard and fast rules as you get to know your baby, you might discover that your baby prefers to feed and bathe, so respond and attend accordingly. This doesn’t happen overnight either. This occurs as you form a relationship with your baby then a bond develops. A bond that communicates loudly and there are no words exchanged, you just know what the baby requires, and life will be much different.
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