Hormones can play havoc when pregnant. If we have un-dealt issues and the unspoken words continue to replay in the mind, the chatter box that incessantly plays, the last thing you want is that taking over after a newborn is introduced into your life.
Pregnancy is a time for nesting, where everyone plays a role in preparing for the upcoming baby. Now that does not mean take over everything, but it’s more about how much you can prepare for those nights where you will be disturbed. If you were expecting a full night sleep, then reconsider that thought. Being prepared for this is healthy way to live.
So, what are the practical things you could do to support you during the latter part of your pregnancy? However, most importantly after the birth.
Of course, having the baby’s room prepared, your hospital bag packed etc is one great support but what about meals and snacks? That doesn’t mean pop to the local supermarket and stash in the sweets, chocolate bars etc. I’m referring to the nutritious supportive snacks that you can easily grab and support you whilst you breast feed or during the times you are frequently interrupted with this newborn.
Are there people around you that are either good cooks or can cook for you, if cooking is not your thing. It’s ok as we are not always great at everything, but can you reach out and call for help and support. I can’t dictate to you what exact snack that will support you, everybody is different. The Indian’s have plenty of snacks that you can munch on without reaching out to the easiest potato chips which is great to a point, but the last thing you want to do is look like a potato either :)
Some options
Having small portions of home-made soups tucked away in the freezer
Crackers, home-made are much more delicious than those ladened with salt, sugar or preservatives.
Fish cakes made with either raw or tinned fish mixed with your favourite herbs and roasted veggies and carbohydrate. These can be cooked and then frozen for warming in the oven or microwave.
Sometimes having small tubs of roasted veggies that can easily be microwaved.
The list is endless. You freeze what you sense your body will love, something nurturing, something loving, something supportive during the times your body is making adjustments to being with a newborn.
There are 100’s of recipes on the internet that can support you too. You cannot be busy enough in your week that you can’t commit an hour a week to research, cook and freeze. Trying to do it in one go is asking for disaster and you won’t enjoy the process. As much as your baby is being nurtured in your womb, then nurture your womb and body for when the baby arrives.
In this way, you don’t become overwhelmed or cranky towards your partner or the baby.
Be realistic what life will be like with a newborn. They are tiny beings that need attending to. They communicate by crying; it is that simple. Crying is not what adult assume it is. We cry when we have emotional pain, physical pain or we sense that things don’t feel safe, well what is the difference when a baby comes into your life. None whatsoever.
A baby has the same sensory language as you do, they are in a tiny body for the time being, no different to how you were when you were a baby.
So, it means tiny body, means tiny organs to fit into it structure. So, a baby will have a tiny stomach and will require to be fed frequently, it will poo and pee frequently. There are no hard and fast rules about this. Accept that they will require frequent feeds, sometimes 2-3 hourly and each mother and baby will differ so don’t have this set in stone either. Learn to read, meaning getting to know your baby and its cue’s and when a mother/partner is tired, we lose that ability.
Remember what today brings is not the same tomorrow. In other words, it is a moment to moment of caring for your newborn. Instead of focusing on what didn’t work or that night was horrendous, bring your focus and attention to the days and nights that weren’t like that. We can catch up on sleep at any time and siestas are definitely needed throughout our lives, so they are not only for nana’s or baby’s they are for everyone. It’s only when we ignore the signals of the body that we build the cholesterol of overwhelm and coping.
How about appreciating yourself? How often do you appreciate yourself and those around you? There is no room for perfection as we all bring our different qualities, so thank God we all have different jobs, otherwise life will be boring. Everyone is great at something, I repeat, EVERYONE IS GREAT AT SOMETHING, so utilise them. Don’t be afraid or ashamed to ask for help. Don’t have family near you, make some. Meaning family does not need to be blood related. Your neighbours, church, temple, synagogue etc. Join a mother’s group or form one.
What does this have to do with baby blues, it has everything to prepare you from not having baby blues that linger and linger and then it becomes Postnatal Depression, then that’s a whole new management. Postnatal Depression is something that a medical profession can diagnose and manage appropriately. And some women will need this support and there is no shame in that either, the main thing is to call for help and get the appropriate support and medication if need be. There is always some form of help out in this world.
Below are some agencies that can support if you feel you have depression, please research your local agencies in your state, country.
Support Agencies
Lifeline - 13 11 14
Beyond Blue - https://www.beyondblue.org.au
Mental Health Help for parents and babies - https://www.health.nsw.gov.au/mentalhealth/services/parents/Pages/default.aspx 1800 011 511 (24/7)
PANDA - National Helpline (Mon-Sat) 1300 726 306